SPECIMEN ONE
Shahzada Yaqoot
Com-312
November 7, 2021
Michele Pukaluk
Resolving a Conflict
The root cause of conflicts is others' perception of an issue. For example, perceivers see as if the goals were different, there were no resources to satisfy mutual expectations, or others were blockading something valued by the perceiver. Thus, the difference in the thinking pattern of two or more individuals often leads to conflict. Conflicts are multi-dimensional, and they cannot be resolved unless broken down into small components. Since there are many conflict styles, it is essential to identify what conflict style existed in each situation. Resolution can only be sought when the type or the nature of the conflict is recognized.
Conflicts exist in all walks of life. They are seen at home, workplace, educational institutions, and religious organizations. People have opinions, and when opinions are not in-line, a negative perception is formed, resulting in conflict. Some are rooted in interdependence, where one has expectations, while others result from due or undue interference. Opinionated people opt to interfere without being asked for advice or a suggestion. Such behavior immediately gives birth to the negative perception that manifests itself as a conflict. Sometimes, people fail to communicate clearly and thus leave their communication vague and unclear, leading to perceived interference that also transforms into a conflict.
Conflicts can be destructive by nature. Especially those that are left unresolved. Empirically speaking, the writer can relate to a recent conflict at Church that started as a tiny spark of contention but quickly flared up into an inter-personal conflict inferno. The music ministry at this Church comprises young people who are either students or have entry-level jobs. They volunteer their time to practice on Thursdays, Saturday evenings, and the three services on Sundays. This schedule is quite taxing for many who must catch up with their schoolwork or varying shifts at their jobs.
The music minister who holds a paid position on the Church's payroll demands too much commitment from the hobbyist musicians. So he recently got annoyed when a girl who plays the flute did not show up for Thursday or Saturday rehearsals. Yet, she showed up for the Sunday services to be with the group and perform onstage. The music minister, who did not like her move, asked her to get off the stage and then imposed four weeks of probation on the worship team. The poor girl was devastated and complained about it to her father, a board member of the Church. He immediately called a meeting of the board to discuss the music minister's behavior.
The father of the girl made a motion before the board to dismiss the music minister. Blaming that he was unfair and had failed to ask for an explanation from his daughter to justify her absence from the music practice yet showed up for the performance of Sunday morning. The writer is also a board member and was amazed at how a minor issue was blown out of proportion. The seven board members suggested asking the music director to explain and ask the young girl to explain her part of the story.
It was a typical case of exacerbating a conflict that could have been resolved quickly. After hearing the two sides, the board members reacted differently. This writer's stance was to engage in a more empathic way (Kelleburer T. 2021). It was not obliging, collaborating, or dominating, but mainly compromising, knowing that no conflict should be escalated (Hocker, J. L., & Wilmot, W. W. (2017). Therefore, an analysis of the situation was conducted to ascertain the perspective of the two parties involved. The guidelines of his assignment bound the music minister. He was required to present a praise and worship segment of the service flawlessly. Each praise team member was required to master the songs and music selected for the specific week. In doing so, each member must employ enough interest, time, and effort to participate to become excellent in their part of the worship. When one member fails to do so, they should stay away until the following week. The girl who missed the practice did not comply with the requirements. Instead, she showed up for the performance only.
Analyzing the situation from the girl's perspective, she was confident with her musical prowess. Therefore, the rehearsal was not all that important, and she was still able to carry on and participate. In doing so, she violated the guidelines of the music director. However, when asked to leave the stage, she took it personally and used her position as a board member's daughter to instigate her father against the music director. The father was more moved emotionally and hastened to go against the music director, who was only carrying out his duties.
The author was finally able to talk to other board members and convince them that the conflict had unnecessarily escalated. Other board members cross-examined my conflict resolution and agreed that compromise was the best approach to resolving this conflict. Eventually, both the music director and the praise team members were brought together to discuss the guidelines. The music director held his position and did not deviate from his decision to off-stage a flute player. That hurt person also realized that she had acted arrogantly and unfairly in instigating her father against the Music Minister. The subject board member apologized to the music minister, and the matter was all resolved with commitments from all parties to adhere to the written guidelines.
The above narrative is a typical example of an attempted destructive conflict. Had the board members changed the perception of at least four more board members, they would have voted the music minister out. A small problem would have led to the destruction of someone's professional calling. The scenario teaches us that one should not jump to a conclusion but seek explanations and find reasons and causes to resolve a conflict. Conflicts are like tiny sparks that, when fanned with emotions, dogmas, or preconceived ideas, can exacerbate into an inferno that can destroy lives.
Conflicts often require external stimuli to get resolved. Conflicting parties can behave in a variety of ways that can include avoidance and shutting down all communication. However, communication is the only catalyst that can turn a conflicting situation into a satisfying and lasting relationship. To do so, a broad and open mind is a prerequisite. A positive attitude towards an issue will give birth to a positive perception that will never cause a conflict but rather an amicable resolution from the conflict's inception.
References
Hocker, J. L., & Wilmot, W. W. (2017). Interpersonal conflict (10th ed.). New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.
https://www.alternativeresolutions.net/2017/04/05/destructive-conflict-patterns/
https://www.mvorganizing.org/what-is-compromising-style-of-conflict/
https://the-conflictexpert.com/2019/04/08/how-empathy-can-resolve-and-prevent-conflict/
https://tylerkleeberger.com/content/using-empathy-in-conflict-resolution